Well I guess its not daily

So sue me. Well don't cause I don't have much but what I have I always like to keep. Like my sequins and felt (story for another day).

For various reasons, I had to drive in to work today. Its a commute that without traffic should take 30 minutes, but I'm not sure when "without traffic" is. I've traveled this tollway at all hours and never found it "without traffic". I had another kvetch in my head (about the electronic signs that tell you how much time it will take you to get to your destination - is this if you are going warp speed? Are they talking about another city? Or, as someone suggested to me this morning, maybe I'm just not driving fast enough...) but I figured this is a long time kvetch and maybe some education for folks.....

People people people........TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE BRAKE!!! For hecks sake.... When in traffic, there is no need to speed up, brake, speed up, brake....or brake.......brake.....brake..... I don't know if I should really brake as there is something stopping in front of you, or if you are just in a panic cause you think you might have to stop. Here is a novel idea for you.....decrease your speed and when you see that traffic is starting to slow.....TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE GAS!!! Yes, you can do it!! Instead of singing "put one foot in front of the other" try singing "take one foot right off and the other". It works....really.. You can make it a game as well. Being of simple mind (you know, simple pleasures simple mind?) I play a game in traffic seeing how long I can go without braking. Its fun....its educational.....its a laugh a minute (not really but it beats screaming swears out of the window while beating my steering wheels with my hands...maybe not as amusing tho). Now, go back to work and put a dang smile on your face.

Maybe not a kvetch

But who knows, could turn out that way. I'm on my way to europe this week. I carefully planned the coloring of my roots for this saturday. I made the appointment 7 weeks ago, which is incredibly not like me. I am usually calling the day before I want the appointment to beg my way in. However, this time I wanted to make sure that I had everything set for first thing in the morning. The stylist I go to has been coloring my hair for 5 years now. I met her as a teen when she dated a friend of my nephew. I've been in and out of this particular salon for 4 years at this point. So, here I am expecting my haircut and color (she usually throws in the haircut for free so this is HUGE to me as I'm getting this all on the cheap) when I walk into the salon. I arrive, state my name and who I am there for and the young girl (who was just adorable) looks at me in panic and says "JUST A MINUTE!!!". 10 minutes later the manager of the salon comes out and in one sentence says "UNFORTUNATELYKELLYISNOLONGERWITHUSTHISJUSTHAPPENEDLASTNIGHTANDWETRIEDT TOCALLYOUTHISMORNINGBUTDIDN'THAVEYOURCELLONLYYOURHOMEI'MSOSORRY". I'm now in a mini state of panic as I am down to the wire and I've of course not done anything for my trip, or any of the other million things one does on a saturday. How can I present myself in Europe with an inch of roots complete with more grey than I care to remember? The cut?? The color??? As I panic and am in total "all about me mode" the manager then says "we do have another stylist coming in to do your color and to blow dry your hair". Whew. So I get the color done, don't get the haircut cause I don't want to shell out the extra 45 bucks, get a decent blowdry (almost substituted the word job for dry.....whew....) and then the owner of the salon (who I've known since I am a long time client) sits next to me and says "I hated to do it but we just had to ask her to leave. I hated to do it but what else could I do?" I said "you could have done it at the end of today instead of yesterday!".

So I'm in all about me mode right now, saying stupid things like "oh what bad luck, or I have bad luck" and that leads me on to another kvetch which isn't really a kvetch. A member of my family always says when something bad happens "if we wouldn't have bad luck, we would have no luck at all" and also "Oh its our family luck", implying that we have nothing but bad luck. To be sure, we have had our share of miseries and heartaches but whenever she says that I always wonder why she doesn't recognize the good luck we have as good luck. Like how wonderful the children are, or the good luck we had in our dad, or even the fact that we all have a roof over our head, food in our bellies and some measure of happiness.

Switcharooo

When I was on the train this morning I had a completely different kvetch that I was going to write. The beauty of this is that wonderful kvetchy things happen and luckily you can change your focus. Before I go into this, it was brought to my attention, by my superaffengeil friend that by writing this I get all the negative energy out of me and store it here. Its stored in case I need to use it for some reason. Maybe if I have enough negative energy stored I can create a super power with it. Maybe I can channel and throw it at the Motus waking them out of their comatose state that they appear to be in. Alright, nuff said. On to today's kvetch...



I know we all are extremely important and that the phone call must be made no matter what. I'm sure the lady with the clown red frizzy hair (CAUTION....CATTY REMARK TO FOLLOW!! BLERP BLERP CAUTION.....CLAWS COMING OUT....) oh yea, thats a natural color. ANYWAY.... Here is the thing Miss Clown Hair.......when disembarking off of a train and you have your cell phone glued to your ear you need to exercise a little caution. I'm not really all that interested in what a witch samantha is, I don't even know who samantha is for hecks sake. I'm more interested that you pay attention to where you are going. Did you know that you swung your big ole "coacch" purse into the woman who was holding the childs hand? Did you realize that when you walked down the stairs off the train that you gestured into the face of the young man in the nice suit (and he was sort of dishy...) narrowly missing putting his eye out. And the best part was, due to the sounds of the engines of the train, you proceeded to screech the rest of your conversation for all to hear, making our ears bleed and I can only imagine doing what to the person on the other end. You tottered, cell phone to ear, big ole purse on your other shoulder, high heels, tight leggings walking in front of people, gesturing into their faces and generally (and we should be grateful for this I suppose) waking us all up and out of our calm reverie courtesy of a lulling train ride. I fear for your safety! I have no comments about your phone call or your right to do so, but here is a tip.......try practicing this sentence. It could save us all a bit of minor frustration and you a fall down some stairs or from walking into things.....Here we go..."Hey *****(insert name of friend here), this is a very important conversation and I want to be able to give full attention to how much we both hate samantha. However, I am about to get off the train and want to be sure that I don't maim myself or others as I descend onto the platform. Can I call you back?". Wow!! Miracle words!



You have yourself a good day Miss (BLERP BLERP CATTY ALERT ONCE AGAIN!!) Frizzy unnatural color red head!

Masters of their Universers

Here is what I am wondering. Who the heck raised these "I am the queen/king of the universe everyone make way for me as I don't even know others exist" people? What happened to common courtesy, people? Don't get me wrong there are some very lovely wonderful well mannered folk out there. I think that is why when you bump into one of these Motu's (master of their universers) it startles one. Sit back and I'll tell you a little tale of a female Motu about 23 years old....When you come off the train and head downstairs there are two lines that form to go down the stairs. It is usually a very pleasant hospitable line. There is a fair amount of merging that goes on and it is good natured in most cases. There is one line that is a sort of merging lane with people coming from another direction to merge into the line going downstairs. Normally this happens in an every other one (one person from this line, then one person from the side line type of merge). So usually no worries. However, on occasion you get a Motu. The Motu is not content to wait in a line and comes up in their own line. This is not necessarily always rude because at times it is just that the person didn't realize that they should have been in line. In this case they normally look at the person they want to merge in front of with a bit of a sheepish grin, or eyebrows raised in a question or some indication to show they want to come in. In most cases, the person good naturedly lets them in. Not so with the Motus. This Motu rammed herself right in front of me this morning cutting me off and also the person I was letting go in front of me. She didn't look left, right, front back, just walked into me and in front of me. The person I was letting in was a little startled. As we walked down the stairs, the Motu is now in front of the person who I originally and finally let in front of me. The Motu stops on a stair so that she can find a good song on her ipod causing the woman in front of me to come up short, as I did and as did the 53,000 people behind me. Now I don't know about you but when one is descending down a staircase with a large group of people behind them, normally they take care in not stopping mid stairstep. Not so with the Motu. Apparently she had a music emergency in which she just needed to find that perfect song to descent staircases to. So she stopped in the middle of the stairs. Luckily everyone was awake this morning and noone went to off kilter. Motu does not even register what is going on behind her. It is common courtesy in this drill to hold the door at the bottom stairs so that the person directly behind you can grab it too. Its a nice little relay event. So here we walk down the stairs and here is what our now beloved Motu does....she not only does not hold the door, but she cuts in front of the person in the other line to sneak thru their closing door causing the person in front of me to have a door slammed in her face and the person in the line on the side of me to have a door in her face. This once more makes the line stop short. DOUBLE BONUS MOTU!! The people around me sigh in disgust then shake it off as Motu's not only cause disturbance by their lack of seeing the world around them but they also lose out on all the wonderful things the world, especially the world of commuting has to offer. I mean if you are so caught up in yourself that you can't even acknowledge being let into a line, or apologize when you cause others to have to stop abruptly or be polite by holding the door, think of all the wonderful beautiful things you are missing.

So Miss Motu, good morning and get your head out of your butt occasionally.....Not only will the smell be better but you just might notice what a wonderful vibrant mix of people there are.

First Blog

This is my first ever blog. I wanted to find a place to go to every morning and just burn off all the little piddly irritating things that happen so that I can go on with my day. A mental offloading of that very heavy backpack you have been carrying around.

Today's is dedicated to the woman, who was answering an email on her blackberry while she was going through a revolving door. She stopped in midrevolve to type/send email/read - who knows - causing those of us in the sections behind her to bang into the door......and then turned to give us a dirty look.....

Thank you miss blackberry - have a good day!!