So basically today I'm going to kvetch about myself. I created this tough as nails, uber giving persona about 30 years ago. Thought it was a cool personality. You know, can handle anything, very strong, doesn't need nuthin or noone. Romance?? Pishaw! Tenderness?? Double Pishaw!! Well, it occurs to me the reason I did it was to get people to like me and to stay with me. Sort of I'll give you no reasons to ever get rid of me. Now I'm tired of it. I'm tired of my willingness to always say "no, thats great!" or to come up with a reason why that idea is PERFECT for me. Its really hard for me to appear weak (I am conan) so I go out of my way to not only show how tough I am but to also make sure that if anyone sacrifices it is me. Well its pissing me off. Truly truly pissing me off right now. I want romance, I want to be put first, I want....I want...I want to be a bit girly. Crap. Crap. Double triple quadriple crap.
So I'm pissed off at myself. I'm going around the day just kvetching my butt off that people ignore my needs, wants and secret desires.....even tho they all truly have been secret.
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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